Koboi's Christmas
by RAHbooks
Summary: TPG contest. Opal Koboi is spending Christmas in the Atlantis Correctional Facility when she receives some unexpected gifts. One-shot.


**AN: This is for Kitsune Heart's TPG contest. Thanks to all of you who reviewed my last story I am looking forward to hearing what you think of this one. I have resubmitted this because I finally figured out how to do the line and some of you were confused at the transition from the present Opal to the past Opal.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl, but it shall be the first thing I conquer in my quest for world domination.**

**Koboi's Christmas**

Opal Koboi sat alone in her cell at the Atlantis Correctional Facility. It was bigger than the other cells but considering she was now the size of a human, albeit a short one, she did not necessarily have more room than anyone else. She considered this a revenge-worthy oversight. Opal glanced around her cell at the sad, cardboard seahorses. Two of them had been destroyed when Opal had packed them all after Commander Raine Vinyaya had carelessly told her that a shuttle was being sent for her. A shuttle that had never come. It really was too bad Vinyaya had been killed by that Mars probe, Opal had so been looking forward to getting revenge on her. She could not even get revenge on the one who had taken it from her as Turnball Root had been killed shortly after himself. She would just have to settle for Raine's brother, Tarpon Vinyaya, after all he was in charge of the prison, it was perfectly reasonable for her to want revenge on him as well.

There was a knock on her cell door and Opal's guard entered, looking nervous and carrying three packages with several sound wafers piled on top. The guard set his burden down on her table. Opal sprang to her feet, "What is this?" she demanded, towering over the jumbo pixie, being human-sized definitely had advantages.

"It's Ch-Christmas, M-miss K-Koboi. I s-suppose that some of your f-friends wanted to ch-cheer you up," the poor guard stammered, terrified.

Opal relaxed, she had forgotten about Christmas. Still she was surprised that anyone had sent her a card, let alone a present. "Very well, you may go," she told the guard as if it were her throne room rather than her prison cell. He could not get out fast enough.

Opal turned to the pile on her table. "Now who could any of these be from?" she murmured. She scooped a sound wafer off the top at random. As she closed her fist around it the heat from her hand turned it on. "Dear Mistress Koboi," chorused the voices of Mervall and Descant Brill.

"It is our pleasure to inform you…" began Merve.

"Our _great_ pleasure," interjected Scant.

"That we expect to be released very soon," continued Merve.

"On account of our good behavior," finished Scant.

"Merry Christmas," they said together, sounding quite merry themselves.

"Traitors," Opal muttered tossing the sound wafer onto the table. She would have to see about hiring some new minions once she escaped. As for Mervall and Descant, she would let them live in terror for a while, they knew she would come for revenge sooner or later.

Opal picked up the next sound wafer and soon the voice of that infernal Mud Boy filled the room. "Dear Miss Koboi (obviously that is a formality as I do not consider you dear in any way), I actually find myself bored without your schemes for world domination to occupy my time. This does not, however mean that I hope you will escape any time soon, in fact the main purpose of sending you this card is to reassure myself that you are still in prison. I would much rather be bored than in the life-threatening positions your plans usually put me in. Merry Christmas (again that is a formality as I do not expect Christmas in jail will be merry in the least), Artemis Fowl (as you probably guessed)."

Opal threw the sound wafer across the room. "I really must think of a better way to get vengeance on him. Something he is sure not to escape. It is amazing how infuriating that _human_ can be!" she took a deep breath to calm herself and reached for the next sound wafer, hoping it was from someone who actually liked her. She should have known better.

"Hello, murderer," Holly Short's voice sounded suspiciously like a snarl. "I realize it's customary to send Christmas cards to people you actually like, but I simply couldn't resist the opportunity to yell at you, after all you did kill my commander. Maybe I should sympathize, considering I spent Christmas in captivity myself once. Of course I escaped and later joined forces with the guy who kidnapped me to defeat you - three times. Honestly don't you have anything better to do than try to kill us? If you are as smart as you say you are you will stay in prison a long time, it's much safer!" Opal's fist tightened around the sound wafer until she heard it crack.

"I have no intention of staying in here, Holly Short, and when I escape _you_ shall be the first to suffer my wrath!" Then she realized something "Three times? They have only defeated me twice," she glanced down at the sound wafer in her hand. There was no chance of playing it back now. Either she had heard wrong, or Short had made a mistake. Or perhaps the elfin captain was trying to throw her off-balance, well if that was the case it wouldn't work, Opal was as determined to seek revenge as ever.

That was the last of the sound wafers, thank evil. Opal lifted the first package, it was surprisingly light. She checked it for any kind of note or at least a name to tell her who it was from. Finding nothing she tore off the wrapping taking special pleasure in the fact that she beheaded one of the Santas. Inside was a box with the words "assorted chocolates" in curvy letters surrounded by pictures of Christmas decorations. Her mouth began to water as she reverentially lifted the lid off the top of the box and peered in.

The box was empty except for a sound wafer attached to the bottom. Opal glared at it as if it were solely responsible for the lack of chocolate. When that proved ineffective she peeled it loose and closed her fist around it.

"Mulch Diggums speaking, obviously this was a box of chocolates. They were fantastic! Thanks for givin' me the excuse to buy 'em. Merry Christmas!" Opal screamed, threw the wafer to the ground and stomped on it mercilessly. By the time she was done what was left could easily have been mistaken for crumbs.

Once she was done she turned to the next package. This one had a sound wafer on top. "Hello, Koboi, I know you are going to hate me for this, but since you hate me anyway I figured 'why not?' I have sent you my newest invention as a Christmas present. I guarantee that not even you have thought of anything like this. Enjoy! Oh, and merry Christmas." Opal tossed the sound wafer aside and looked at Foaly's package. No doubt there was another sound wafer inside telling her how wonderful this invention was.

"I really shouldn't give him the satisfaction," she murmured. She opened it anyway, she wanted to see what Foaly could possibly have thought of that she hadn't. Opal studied the contraption trying to ascertain what exactly it could do. There was another sound wafer attached to the device. Assuming it was some sort of explanation she closed her fist around it.

"OK I admit it, it doesn't really do anything. I just stuck some old, useless parts together, which is why you would never have thought of it. Hey I didn't expect you to really open it! If you are listening to this it just proves that I am the smart one, which we both knew anyway. Get over it. Merry Christ-" Foaly's voice was cut off as Opal threw the contraption across the room. A few pieces fell off. Not satisfied, she crossed the room picked it up and threw it again. Naturally that idiot centaur had built it to withstand a great deal. Cursing in a way that would make a swear toad cringe she proceeded to throw it against every wall in the cell. After a few minutes of this she began to stomp it into whatever is beyond smithereens, swearing to do things to Foaly that would have caused a troll to lose it's lunch.

Finally, breathing heavily Opal looked around at the mess strewn across her cell. She opened her mouth to demand that the guard immediately come and clean it up when her eyes fell on the last remaining package. Deciding she might as well open it now and get it over with she picked her way across her home-made mine field and stared at it a moment. There was no sound wafer so she opened it cautiously. She pulled out the protective hydrogel cube and peeled it away to reveal two exquisitely carved mother-of pearl seahorses with opals for eyes. Opal drew in a breath at the sight of them. For several minutes she simply admired them, turning first one and then the other over in her hands, examining them closely. They were flawless.

She noticed something else in the package. Upon closer inspection she found it was a box of her favorite chocolate truffles. She lifted the lid and breathed in deeply, taking in the heavenly scent of chocolate and wondering who would send her such perfect gifts. Obviously there was more to this. Someone was sending her a message. "Now where would I hide a message I didn't want anyone to find?" she wondered. Smiling she carefully lifted the chocolate truffles out of the box. Written on the lining underneath was a message.

_I am you. I was brought to this time from the past by LEP Captain Holly Short and a human called Artemis Fowl. I have decided to take advantage of the situation. I will free you from this prison and together we can take our revenge on these two for the times they have thwarted us. Merry Christmas from yourself._

Opal tore the paper into pieces too small to ever be fit back together. It wouldn't do for the wrong people to read it. She hung her two new seahorses where she could see them from any point in her cell and settled down on her cot to eat her chocolate truffles. Without a doubt this was the best Christmas she had ever had.

Opal Koboi sat back in her chair watching the footage of her cell that her bugs had picked up. She smiled as she watched herself open the package she had sent and popped a chocolate truffle into her mouth, savoring the taste of it as it melted. This was the best Christmas she had ever had. The best part was she would get to have it twice.

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**Thanks and prayer,**

**RAHbooks**


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